Dislocated Coronavirus

Dislocated Coronavirus

On the 18th February I slipped and fell rather spectacularly on some rubble brought down from the hills by Storm Dennis. I have dislocated my right shoulder for the 12th time and fractured my humerus on that side too. Both knees have large areas of skin missing and I have cracked a rib on the left side. No physical pain except for the rib, but great frustration due to an inability to do almost anything. I’m 4 weeks into a 6 week of “keep your arm in a sling”, and slowly going mad with boredom. Then came coronavirus and self isolation as I am 76 and have hay fever.

So I have developed some strategies for coping with inactivity.

First be prepared for some boredom.    Hold on to the thought that you will be able catch up on all those things you always intended to do, but have not.   The reason why they are still on your To Do list, is that they are really not all that interesting, and having more time to do them does not make them any more interesting.   I have 5 books on the “I must read them sometime’ list that I am working my way through.    Each book only holds my interest for a certain length of time, then I move on to another.     My books range from “The Meaning of Jesus’s Parables”, the “Archeology of Britain BC”, the “Science of Walking”, Drawing the Human Figure from Memory”, and a “who done it”.   I have read several “who done its” but am struggling to the end of the others.  I am not able to carve, and I envy that ability of any that can.   
Secondly, read the small print of the governments advice.     It says we are not to go out and meet people in close proximity, but does allow that dogs need to be taken out to pee.    We are going out for walks and if we see friends we speak at a distance, not even getting close enough to knock elbows, never mind a handshake or hug.  It is called “social distancing”

Thirdly, your day needs some structure, some variety.     So have a plan.   Think of it as a job.   Think creatively about the long days ahead.   Try to keep watching TV down to a normal level, and physical activity up. In 12 weeks or more one could easily become an unattractive couch potato.

Happy Hibernation

John Adamson 22 March 2020

My run of luck has continued.   After the dislocated shoulder, fractured humerus, cracked rib incident, I have broken the second of the “buy one get one free” glasses.   Amazingly our local opticians ( who had not supplied the glasses) managed to find an arm that fitted.   Not the same colour but what the !!!!.   
Today the electric kettle just would not heat at all.    Does that count as essential shopping??     We are cooking water in the microwave until the new one comes via the internet. 
Ann and I are socially distancing whilst walking every day.  We have worked out a route that not many cyclists and other walkers use.     We can get straight to it from our front door.     I cannot drive until at least next Wednesday when I have a hospital appointment to have an X-ray, and time with the consultant.  Hopefully the appointment will not be cancelled, and he will be able say I can drive, and give me some strengthening exercises.    But who knows, Boris changes the goal posts every day. 
We have had cards put through the door offering to bring in food shopping so that at least is going OK. 

Happy Hibernation

John Adamson 24 March 2020

The saga of the nonfunctioning kettle continues.     Ordered one from Amazon and got their usual email quote delivery in about 3 days.    Got a second email saying supplier could not despatch the kettle for 3 weeks due to coronavirus restrictions.     So tried E-Bay and found that Argos had some and they were cheaper than Amazon.    Could not complete the purchase as Argos was on holiday!!     Asked a neighbour to see what the Co-op had and he said “Wait there”.    He came out with a spare kettle.   Not sure why it had been replaced, but if this one did not work then they had another spare.     Is that hoarding ??? 
Our run of luck continues.     Ann was heating a wheat bag in the microwave.  When she got it out, the bag burst and very hot wheat seeds sprayed every where.   Burnt the skin and fused themselves on to fleeces  where they landed.  Ann was inspired to write a poem about it 

Oats and Beans and Barley….. 
Nearly bed time 
Just give the heating bag one more second in the microwave 
Anticipate loverly hot bag to take to bed 
Pow……or something similar……microwave door opens and 
The anticipated lovely warm bag shoots baking hot particles randomly into the air 
In my hair, in my clothes, make like a stripper in fast replay 
Floor covered in roast barley 
Surprising how big the pieces are 
Feet dance along the floor 
Step in swathes of granules 
We were making toast and jam 
We have spread the toast with jam 
The plum jam has an strange encrusted top 
We scrape the barley bits off the top with a teaspoon 
Rescue the bobbing bits of the cups of tea 
Dab cold water singe on neck 
And abandon the kitchen for later 
Watch yet another episode of Homes under the Hammer 
I am sharing with you day two of social isolation 
And it’s not dull!!!   
Another week to wait to see the consultant about the shoulder if they do not cancel it 

Happy Hibernation 

John Adamson 27 March. 02020

If the government cannot buy enough masks they could try this idea

3 Responses

  1. Hi John, At this rate you will not survive this period of isolation. Wiahing you all the best and hope you get use of your arm back soon.
    Jill Smith

    1. Thanks Jill
      I keep on trying, but have found that I am completely out of my depth on the technical side so have employed an expert.
      The arm is doing fine and all I have to do is about 20 mins of exercises twice a day and then a good rest afterwards

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